Tag Archives: waiting

LDR

12 Feb

Bakit ganito kasakit

Ang kapalit ng iyong pag- alis?

Maraming taon

Ngunit konting pagkakataon

Sabagay ganun din noong ako’y

Sampung taon

Maraming nakapaligid

Pero nabibilang ang bigkas ng bibig

Nagpalipat-lipat ng lugar

Hanggang wala ng makilala maliban sa isa o dalawa.

Hindi ako nahilig makichika

O mangumusta sa iba

Yan na ako, simula pa

Wala pa noon ang sakit

Noon, isa lamang akong paslit

Isang dakilang manonood

Ng mga tao sa aking paligid

Bakit ganito kasakit

Ang kapalit ng iyong pag- alis?

Wag mo akong tanungin

Bakit wala akong oras sa iyong daing

Wag mo akong sisihin

Kung hindi ako malambing

Ang TV ang aking gabay

Lumaki akong wala namang nanlalambing

Pinalaki akong matatakutin

Ang sabi nga ng iba’y manang na din

Kaya patawad kong hindi ako

Ang ideal mong maging

Pero kung laging mali ko ang ipaparating

At ang daing di iindahin

Saan na tayo papadparin?

Kung parehas tayong ang hiling

Ang isa sa atin ay dinggin

At wala sa atin handang makinig

O Bakit ganito kasakit,

Ang kapalit ng iyong pag- alis?

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The Space Between

28 Aug

How to get by?

I’ve done it, i said my piece. I got my permission. I just have to go through formalities in getting out the chains and i’m free to move the reins.

But it seems my destination is reluctant to have me there.

But i really want to go. I need this break. I need to face her. I can’t bear this hopelessness any longer. I’m loosing faith. I can’t fall. And i can’t get lost. But soon, i know i will if i don’t do anything to stop it. So i must go. I have to move.

But.

How to get by?

Not Okay.

30 Jun

If you ask me if i’m okay, i’d say, “okay”.
If you ask me how i feel, i’d say, “fine” (maybe).
But, really, there’s nothing to feel. It’s just “okay”.
There is nothing significant, anymore.

I don’t dwell. Fearing that by doing so i’ll be the wreck i know i would be.

These days, i’m just existing. Waiting for that day i’d finally be free.
Praying for that day to come sooner to be with you.
And i hope you feel the same way.

 

 

Hey. You. (and Her)

21 Apr

Hey, you.

I am upset.

My friends keep bugging me why i am still single.

One of them even insinuated that its WRONG that i’m still single.

Now, THAT is wrong.

She says i’m not a risk taker.
She even thinks (i’m sure) that i’m a snub.
She was trying to convince me that i already met you and missed my chance of a great love story. With you.

That’s okay but I beg to DISAGREE with one.

I could be making mistakes but DON’T tell me i’m wrong because what i decide to do with my life is MY judgement ALONE.

She could give advis, es (unsolicited or not) but don’t JUDGE. That’s unwelcome.

RESPECT.

This is my way of living. Of learning. Of loving.

I appreciate her concern, but this is still MY life.

Anyhow. She didn’t know. She wouldn’t know because i didn’t tell.

I took a risk. I gave a chance.
But those boys, they were not you.
So why prolong their agony? I admit, there were a few when i thought that was you but some thing tells me otherwise.

I kept thinking, “If i keep this man, we wouldn’t last long.”

But then, they ‘ll say, why not ‘just’ TRY so i could have an experience in relationships; to have a deeper understanding in men.

Well. For some, that might work. But not for me.

 

I would rather make mistakes with you. (I hope you’re not bothered by that.)

And learn with you.

 

I stayed single because they were not you.

At my age, some are engaged, married or even have kids already. But 24 is 24. And life continuous whatever your age.

Although, I’m missing you without even knowing you. Its okay.

The waiting is okay, because i have YOU to look forward to.

And YES, i am hopeless(-ly romantic). But this is my greater risk. To love YOU even without you. YET.

Gates and Padlocks

16 Mar

Something about padlocks and gates that makes you think of
“hellos”,
“goodbyes”
and maybe
the dreadful or hopeful “when”,
the sarcastic “again”,
the begging “no more”,
the irritating “not again”,
the romantic “key to my heart”…
Endless thoughts.

And this phrase with conflicting meanings:

“Make it last.”

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