Tag Archives: life

Hindi Ako To

20 Jun

Hindi ko pinili ang saktan ka.

Pero iyon ang resulta ng iyong ginawa.

Hindi ko ginusto na umiyak ka, bumagsak ang balikat, magmukhang kawawa.

Pero iyon ka, dahil kinumpronta.

Hindi ko ninais na mahirapan ka.

Pero ikaw din ang may sala.

Hindi ko naisip, na ako pa ang magtutulak sayo palayo.

Dahil ikaw, sinagad mo ako.

Hindi ko pinangarap na maging ganito–Kontrabida sa paningin mo.

Hindi ganito ang pagkatao ko.

Pero nilabas mo to.

Hindi masaya ang makita kang nagdurusa.

Pero sa bawat pagtanggi mo ng mga katotohanang alam ko na,

sa bawat hakbang para mapaniwala ako sa mga kasinungalingan mo

sa bawat “hindi” na ang totoo’y “oo”,

sa bawat “oo” na hindi naman magkakatotoo–

Nasasaktan ako.

Kasi mahal pa din kita kahit kinamumuhian kita.

At nakakalungkot, na alam kong mawawala din ang poot,

pero mabubura na ang tiwala, mapapalitan ng kirot.


Liwanag sa Dilim

14 Jan

Ang mga bituin sa langit, unti-unti akong nilalamon ng kanyang kahiwagaan

Nakamamangha ang kinang na dulot ng kanyang kamatayan

Ang mga bituin na napapalibutan ng kadiliman, ng kanyang hangganan

Sa kanyang katapusan, minulat ka sa mga pangarap na mahirap simulan

Ngunit masarap isipin, pag-laruan, palaguin at pilit na gustong abutin

Hindi madali sa ilalim ng bituin, kung saan ang maliit na dumi ang laging napapansin

Hindi madali kung ang bawat pausbong na liwanag na binuhay ng pangarap, kikitisin ng taong nilamon ng dilim

Hindi madali na makita ang kinang ng pumanaw ng bituin kung nakapiring kang titingin

Hindi madali magpakawala, kalimutan ang mga humahadlang, ng mga boses na pumipigil para makita ang liwanag na meron sa gabing madilim

Mahirap maniwala kung sarado ang paniniwala na sa kawalan, may kinang pa ding masisilip, may pag-asa kahit katiting

Mahirap pero pipiliin pa ding magpasakop sa silaw ng mga bituin.

Life at 20s

13 Jan

Life at 20s is like a clock that stops ticking

It’s hoping you get the time to figure things out before it takes over

It’s dreaming that you stay younger but wiser

It’s believing it’s okay to wander, that you’ve got time to wonder

It’s learning you are not as capable as others

It’s doubting the goals you set to reach your dreams

Its promising the world they’d look for you on a google search (because, why not?)

It’s contradicting yourself because you second-guess

It’s exploring the world and comparing them to the books and lectures you have been told

It’s procrastinating while your mind plan a future

It’s a life you never want to end because it gives you hope

that mistakes may still be forgiven

that excuses might still be accepted

that you are still someone who can afford to fail and still be accepted

where the world is still lenient

And yet, the clock is never still…

It will be recharged and the hands will continue to move

Even then, time knows no bound

20s will be 30s, and so on…

Life goes on.

N.O.W ends here

5 Feb

It all boils down to today.

There is no “future” as it is only a figment of the mind. There’s only “then” and “now”.

Don’t stress yourself over tomorrow. But if you ever do, as humans are prone to, take a break from the world and ask yourself, 

“Am i happy?” 

“Am i satisfied?”

Don’t think. FEEL. Right this moment. We are our emotions. We are reigned by it.  

Yes, i admit, i won’t be always going to think like this. If only we could not worry all the time as if our time here on Earth is only borrowed. Oh wait, it is.
But this is a moment where i could be centered on the “present”– of the “gift” of life and evaluate then and now. So i would. Because i can. 

So, i will tell you again.

There is no “tomorrow” until it happens. Why worry now?

The time you first started to read this is different from the state you’re in when you’re here now. At the end. Of N.O.W.

inspired by: MARTA

3 Mar

Ako si Marta

Dalagang ina

Nagmahal nung una

Nanganak mag-isa

Nagalit sa mundo

Sabi ko noon, “Unfair ito!”

Buti pa siya, walang dinadala

Magiging ama, pero hindi halata

Kung umasta parang binata

Walang anak na iniinda

Kung ang lalaki kaya ang magdala

Para sa ‘pag puntong ako’y nanghihina

Makikipag-inuman naman sa barkada

Tutal, lalaki na ang may dala

Ng batang binuo naming dalawa

Kung lalaki na ang magdadala

Pwede na akong maglakwatsa

Maghahanap ng damit

Kaya nang magbuhat,

kahit maraming bitbit

Pero hindi, dahil kung lalaki ang magdadala

Sasamahan ko siya

Kapag kumirot ang tiyan?

Dali-dali kong hahalikan

Kapag umiiyak, kahit walang dahilan?

Kahit saan pa yan, lagi kong dadamayan

Kapag di makatulog

Naghahanap ng niyog

May buko naman sa kanto

Kukunin ko alang-alang sa mag-ama ko.

Pero kahit hindi lalaki ang magdala

Kahit ako na dahil ako naman talaga

Kakayanin ko, iparamdam lang niya

Nabuo ito nang hindi ako mag-isa

At siguruhin niya

Ilalabas ko itong magkasama kaming dalawa.

Throwing Garbage

13 Sep

Gather all your pieces. 

Take away the sadness. 

Refill the jar of happiness. 

Don’t forget the supplies of smiles, you’ll need it when you step out of the house.
Take a deep breath.

Raise your arms with all that garbage. 

Rememer, hoarding it is damage.

So, throw it like an athlete. 

No regret, just target. 

Don’t look back and just enter the house.


You now have a clean house. 
And laugh. 

Because you can.

No More

28 Jun

Behind this wall, I hear a family in grieving.

Two children fighting,

 for a father who isn’t living.

Two children arguing,

 “Father just spoke to us! He isn’t dying!”

Two children crying,

 “Papa!”, “Papa!” … until their voices start cracking.

Adults try to persuade them,

“Your father was only waiting for you, children. 

You had time together but he is no longer breathing.

Let go now, children. No more waiting.”

To Just BE

29 Sep

Gender Equality, i think, is not necessarily having all things alike, or having to prove one’s ability to the other. Its not a competition as to who’s better just to make a point.

Girls as executives? Why not?
Boys as househusbands? Go for it!
Girls as athletes? Of course!
Boys being meticulous about his appearance? That’s great!

Or girls simply being girls.
Or boys simple being boys.

Girls who likes girls and boys who likes boys? They are like everyone too. Liking. Loving. Living.

Its having the choice to do things girlish and/or boyish (whatever). Its a freedom to BE whatever regardless of labels.

We were given the gift of FREE WILL by God. We might as well use it. Let’s not limit ourselves to what our society dictates.

We breathe the same air. We all return to dust when we die. We all have the same mechanics, you know?
And each of us can make a difference if we JUST BE.



30 Jul

the scene IN A RELATIONSHIP for 5, 6… 15 years?

Then suddenly, you’re SINGLE.


You keep hearing people say, “What a wasted years.” Or sympathies for the lost years spent with him.

Its like finding out your TRUTH is a MISTAKE. Or like you’ve been blind and suddenly you see. Or CAGED and finally you’re FREE.


Let me tell you this.

Those years are not wasted years. It’s not something “better left forgotten”. It is not a dark hole in your past. It is NOT NOTHING. It is SOMETHING because it’s a part of YOU.


DON’T WASTE a heartache to bitterness and other dark forces that’ll control your future.

EMBRACE IT for it happened for a reason; with a cause to make you better.


Remember the past. Relive the moments of happiness and of learnings.

Smile when you remember the butterflies, the chemistry, the excitement, the awesomeness, the laughters, the craziness. Feel the gratitude of having experienced those. NOT EVERYONE IS FORTUNATE to that.

Forgive the heartaches. Forgive him. Forgive yourself. ACCEPTANCE.

Relearn the lessons. SHARPEN YOURSELF.

And LOVE still.


Carry on without the person. NO REGRETS.

Be joyous for the love you had been given. Be amazed by the love you were capable of giving. LOVE IS A GIFT.


28 Apr

When you feel that you have lost the fire in you,
When things go crazy around you,
When you come to realize the regrets from before,
When you suck today…

You are. Don’t doubt it.
You sucked.

Don’t make excuses to redeem yourself. You are what you did.

Don’t say you’re trying to find yourself.
You were never not lost, lost.

If you’re ignorant, be fine with that.
You can always learn things.
If you betrayed someone, asess yourself, and rectify it.
If you are hurt, by all means cry yourself a river until you run dry.
If you are a coward, okay go ahead, hide. But then, come out.
We can not stay forever in the dark.

Your purpose is BEING.
You did wrong, you failed — EMBRACE IT.
ACKNOWLEDGE your weaknesses. Never EXCUSE it.
REDEEM yourself by BEING, DOING things you deem right.
You may attempt, but never delude yourself you’d be perfect.

We are gifted with a “will”.
We have our very own “remote control” to choose the channel we like to engage ourselves in.
That is a miracle. That is beauty on its own.

You have a life. Hooray!