Tag Archives: career

Too Much Love That killed Us

15 Mar

I’m sorry to the boy who loved me the most.

I’m sorry i refuse to change my mind when I didn’t feel you fit in my life

I wasn’t accustomed with you in my life

And I’m not ready for that relationship in your mind

Babe, you offered too much I couldn’t dwell

You offered a vision you couldn’t handle well

You loved me too much

It just doesn’t seem like a match

With you always giving in and yet demanding in a pretense of longing

And I, too busy for caring with the excuse of not knowing

You loved me too much

That it seemed to me you were living in a hunch

Of you too scared to shed your true self

Of you too afraid I might not like you that much

To converse alone with you content on looking on
To decide on my own with you just riding along

To hear and forget

To come yet regret
For me, alone is my norm

For me, “us” is a new form

But just the same, I let you in, 

It was a risk that was too difficult for me to take in

But i believed in the now and hoped for us to be better together 

But, I don’t know, was i too much to bear?

Was I too fast, too independent for you, Dear? 

‘Cause somehow, I was losing you

I was constantly seeking for you

To realize the you, not living in the now.

Too much love that made you too scared for me to love. 

Too much love that made me too scared for us to love.

And so much more you couldn’t know until your “too much” would be just “love”. 

Or until I could love you as much.

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I was then I am

24 Jun

I was born and in a foreign land.
I was a baby and they flew me to my mother’s home.

I was 1 and we were one, my

mother, father and i but after awhile they left me behind.

I was 2 and i cried a lot.

I was 3 and still nurtured by my mother’s mother, my favorite in the world.

I was 4 and i wanted to be a doctor.

I was 5 and i remember singing to my parents in a tape recorder.

I was 6 and i moved to my father’s home where he stays for good.

I was 7 and i was disciplined.

I was 8 and i had friends and a first crush.

I was 9 and i left them all behind 

for a home to call our own; my father became my best friend.

I was 10 and betrayed by a friend.

I was 11 and i thought i talk less than a person should. 

I was 12 and fat. Didn’t know how bad but i had an adult friend, a mother-figure and i’m glad.

I was 13 and i met lasting friends, it lessens the pain when i think mama has not come home again.

I was 14 and i experienced young love in pain.

I was 15 and i don’t know what i want; the pressure for a course; and a resounding “no” for becoming a nurse.

I was 16 and alone again. Failed promises and unintentional course taking courses.

I was 17 and i had tasks to fill.

I was 18 and they have elected me a leader.

I was 19 and still going up the ladder.

I was 20 and opportunities come, i grabbed them all.

I was 21 and i was where i was supposed to be and pressured to pursue.

I was 22 and my father left me for good.

I was 23, the blackest year, a fallout with mother.

I was 24, thought i could escape from it all. I did but then no.

I am 25, escaped but not free. Out of purpose and lagging behind.