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T-A-N-G-A

3 Aug

Todo akong magmahal

iAalay buo kong dangal

iiNdahin lahat ng bawal

daiG ko pa nga ang iyong mahal

na sA dulo ika’y tinalikuran
Tandaan mo ito

mAmahalin kita hanggang dulo

maNalig ka sa aking puso

hanGgang sa itakwil mo

tangA na kung tanga 
MagpapakaTANGA para lang  sayo

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Ang G*go at ang T*nga

28 Jul

Ang sagot ng tanga sa gagoOo malibog ka pero yan lang ba ang panlaban mo?

Puro tawag ng laman

Kaluluwa mo nama’y kawalan 

Walang laman, walang maipaglaban
Sa relasyong pilit binubuo

Sa pag-ibig na nanggaling sayo

Pagmamahal na ngayo’y sinayang mo
Sayang, ikaw na sana ang pinakamasaya 

Ang hari ng buhay ko

Sayang, ikaw sana’y naaalagaan

Gaya ng binigay ng nanay mo

Sayo na sana ako

Pero sinayang mo

Wala ka na sanang sakit sa ulo

Kasi hihilutin ko

Sayang, may libre ka na sanang 

Yaya nanay, reyna

Winalanag bahala mo
Pero buti na lang, 

Inalis kita sa buhay ko

Maswerte pa rin ako

Nawala ka sa buhay ko

Wala ng gago, 

Hindi na tanga, gaya mo

Red and Bleak

4 Jun

It happened so #fast

It was a #blur

All was #bleak

But you, the lone #color
You see, I ignored the signs

And man, you made me blind

You took away my heart

I was empty and free
Now i see, 

you stole the fire in me

Alas! I was that color

(You traitor!)

🤦🏻‍♀️

But I won’t give chase

Please, go on keep my color

I hope you blend with it
My fire, although defused

Will be lit, don’t be confused

‘Cause my heart, it multiplies
There will come a time

When this bleak world would be lit

parang ang sarap magmahal

28 Jan

parang ang sarap nang may minamahal

ang abangan ang kanyang pagdating

ang masabik sa kanyang mga halik

ang damhin ang kanyang paglambing

 

parang ang sarap nang may nagmamahal

may kasukob sa ulan

may kayakap hindi lang ang unan

may kasama sa patutunguhan

 

parang ang sarap magmahal

ang kiligin kahit hindi pansin

ang sabikin kahit sa iba nakatingin

ang magmahal kahit hindi ikaw ang ibigin

 

 

Ngayon na nga ba ang SA WAKAS?

31 Aug

Ano ba itong pakiramdam na parang nakalutang sa alapaap at sa isipan, isang imahe ng kadenang napigtas?

Ano nga ba?

Ano ba itong parang pagluwag ng dibdib pagkatapos tumakbo ng tumakbo na parang may tinatakasan at sa isipan, mga katagang paulit-ulit: “Sa wakas…sa wakas”.

Nagsimula lahat ng niyan nang makita na kitang may kasama nang iba.

Pero nang balikan ko ang araw simula nang makita kita kasama niya at ng araw na huli tayong mag-usap pagkatapos ng mahabang katahimikan…

Kaibigan, nakawala ka na nga ba o kumapit lang sa iba?

Naghihintay na sana sa pagtagal, siya ang makapagpakawala sa’yo sa kadena

Dahil di ko naisip, pinakawalan nga kita sa hawla nating dalawa, pero ang kadenang nagdudugtong sa ating dalawa, kadenang iyong ginawa, hindi mo pa nasisira.

Ang malayang pakiramdam unti-unting bumaba mula sa alapaap. 
Ikaw nga ba’y masaya na o nagpapanggap? 

Kailan mo mahahagilap na hindi ako ang iyong pangarap?

At kailangan ko matatanggap, na hindi ikaw ang aking hanap?

Na ang kalungkutan ay hindi basehan para sa pag-iibigan?

Ang kalungkutan ko’y hindi ang iyong kawalan,

Kun’di ang kakayahan ng puso kong kumawala at maipagkatiwala sa iba ng lubusan. 

Pero ang kapal naman ng aking mukha para sa isiping di ka pa nakawala. Sana nga. Sana nga. 

Sa konting panahon, ako’y nakaramdam ng alapaap sa pag-aakalang ika’y nakatagpo na ng bagong pangarap, nang sa gayo’y ako nama’y mapanatag na ikaw at ako maaari nang bumalik sa pagkakaibigan nang walang masasaktan.

Ngayon na nga ba ang “Sa wakas.”? 

Muli, hihingi ng tawad nang walang wakas.

Too Much Love That killed Us

15 Mar

I’m sorry to the boy who loved me the most.

I’m sorry i refuse to change my mind when I didn’t feel you fit in my life

I wasn’t accustomed with you in my life

And I’m not ready for that relationship in your mind

Babe, you offered too much I couldn’t dwell

You offered a vision you couldn’t handle well

You loved me too much

It just doesn’t seem like a match

With you always giving in and yet demanding in a pretense of longing

And I, too busy for caring with the excuse of not knowing

You loved me too much

That it seemed to me you were living in a hunch

Of you too scared to shed your true self

Of you too afraid I might not like you that much

To converse alone with you content on looking on
To decide on my own with you just riding along

To hear and forget

To come yet regret
For me, alone is my norm

For me, “us” is a new form

But just the same, I let you in, 

It was a risk that was too difficult for me to take in

But i believed in the now and hoped for us to be better together 

But, I don’t know, was i too much to bear?

Was I too fast, too independent for you, Dear? 

‘Cause somehow, I was losing you

I was constantly seeking for you

To realize the you, not living in the now.

Too much love that made you too scared for me to love. 

Too much love that made me too scared for us to love.

And so much more you couldn’t know until your “too much” would be just “love”. 

Or until I could love you as much.

Kaya na ba?

24 Feb

Alam ko,

Tila manhid ako sayong paningin

Malamig at parang di ka napapansin
Mga katagang iyong laging inuulit

Ni ayokong marinig

Mga katagang iyong inuulit

Baka sakaling akin ding iparinig
Dalawang salitang mahirap pakawalan

“Mahal” at “kita”

Mahal, salita at gawa’ng hirap kong pakawalan

“Kita”, isang bisitang di ko tuluyang maimbitahan
Sa labas, ako’y manhid

Sa loob, may isang giyera’ng tila walang patid

Ng isip at puso,

Ang pusong gustong pakawalan ang pagma-“mahal” 

Ang isip na gustong ilayo muna “kita” 

Pero,

Gustung-gusto kitang mahalin

Ng buo, nang walang takot

Ang magpakatihulog sa’yo

Ng walang alinlangan, sayung-sayo
Pero, kaya mo na ba akong masalo?

NG buong-buo, NANG buong-buo?

Own(ed) Love Story

14 Dec

What kind of love does a woman need?What kind of love should a man give?

What kind of a relationship two persons could live?
Fairytales, with its “happily ever after”, ain’t true.

Movies, with its grand depictions of love, it just ain’t true.

Songs and poems, with its woes and pleas, its just too good to be true.
The person you are before

The person you meet just before

The person you both are together

The person you both hope won’t be for “after”
The changes — they won’t come naturally. And there would be changes. Don’t be fooled, you.
The changes won’t come welcomingly

They won’t come unnoticeably

The changes — they would be felt.

It could make you wonder, rejoiced

Or it could hurt, and disappoint 
It’s how accepting you are of the YOU plus “the one”

That these changes would be embraced

Not necessarily wholeheartedly but bravely.
Love, really does makes the world go round. 

Because its how we deal with these changes that make our love stories special, always, in our own way.
12/12/15

Passing Angel

7 Dec

You love me, you said, for ten years nowAnd when i opened my heart to you, spent more time with you,

had conversations with you,

I started to wonder. Was your love real or just an illusion of a long-time unrequited love?
You said you were my friend, for 10 years now. And now that you’re my partner, i realized you are not my equal 
You’re not, because you don’t act like it

You have put me in a pedestal where its hard to reach you.

You were content on your place when i wanted to reach higher.
I said “yes” not quite sure. 

But i have grown to love you.

But i realized,

I needed someone higher than me but have long arms to reach for me.

I needed our roles reversed.
I was willing to hold on and learn to love you more as much as you do, to see this through until God permits.
But with your questions and observations came the realization that you needed me to be “there” now. And i couldn’t go there fast enough. I want this journey i had started on my own. 
My life, it’s not just about you. And its not fair when i can’t be that someone you needed now and not fair to set aside my dreams because i found you.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t love you now. 

I’m sorry, i hurt you.

I’m sorry, i couldn’t let go of my dreams. 

I’m sorry, i have doubts of my own.

I’m sorry. I have been alone too, i can’t seem to adjust to the changes you bring. I’m sorry, i couldn’t let go of my former self. 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. 

I will be sorry, even until you have forgiven me.

I think I Do

27 Oct

The first time you said, “I love you”,  we were classmates and friends. My thought then, “Love is too big a word for teens like us.”

For many years, we continued to be friends, although apart, you let your presence be felt. 

When i first got my heart broken, you were there to catch me after that hard fall. 

I fell for you then, but the timing wasn’t right for you were committed. 

When you were finally single after 6 years, you said, “I love you” and over a bottle of vodka with friends i let you pursue.

But after a day, i discovered the feeling i once had for you, although fleeting, wasn’t there. I said “Stop now, let’s just still be friends.”

Then, life happened,.

I lost my father. You let me cry over your shoulder. 

You had another girlfriend while i got busy with my work.

After a year, i went back to our town, found a job and you became my brod. 

I let you in again in my life.

I was alone and you offered me you as companion.

I was sad but you make me glad.

You became my anchor.

Until i imagined you to be my harbor.

Until i think, i felt you and your message came across.

You really do love me and i think this time, “I do again.”