Passing Angel

7 Dec

You love me, you said, for ten years nowAnd when i opened my heart to you, spent more time with you,

had conversations with you,

I started to wonder. Was your love real or just an illusion of a long-time unrequited love?
You said you were my friend, for 10 years now. And now that you’re my partner, i realized you are not my equal 
You’re not, because you don’t act like it

You have put me in a pedestal where its hard to reach you.

You were content on your place when i wanted to reach higher.
I said “yes” not quite sure. 

But i have grown to love you.

But i realized,

I needed someone higher than me but have long arms to reach for me.

I needed our roles reversed.
I was willing to hold on and learn to love you more as much as you do, to see this through until God permits.
But with your questions and observations came the realization that you needed me to be “there” now. And i couldn’t go there fast enough. I want this journey i had started on my own. 
My life, it’s not just about you. And its not fair when i can’t be that someone you needed now and not fair to set aside my dreams because i found you.
I’m sorry, I couldn’t love you now. 

I’m sorry, i hurt you.

I’m sorry, i couldn’t let go of my dreams. 

I’m sorry, i have doubts of my own.

I’m sorry. I have been alone too, i can’t seem to adjust to the changes you bring. I’m sorry, i couldn’t let go of my former self. 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. 

I will be sorry, even until you have forgiven me.

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