Archive | June, 2015

No More

28 Jun

Behind this wall, I hear a family in grieving.

Two children fighting,

 for a father who isn’t living.

Two children arguing,

 “Father just spoke to us! He isn’t dying!”

Two children crying,

 “Papa!”, “Papa!” … until their voices start cracking.

Adults try to persuade them,

“Your father was only waiting for you, children. 

You had time together but he is no longer breathing.

Let go now, children. No more waiting.”

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It Is What It Is

25 Jun

Maybe the reason i keep putting it off is because of this.Maybe this is why i can’t decide, is what it is.

I take that back. I have decided but not acted on it. Not yet. Now this is.

I gave it a thought. I had an instinct, yes that’s it!

I felt it’s not yet the time. Something happened. This is. 

That’s why delayed it is. 

No matter what it is.

Soon, i’ll get back to it, to finish it and then– kaput! Gone it is.

That step to start to end this rant, no more. No act. No walk. 

That’s just it! I sit, is it? 

I was then I am

24 Jun

I was born and in a foreign land.
I was a baby and they flew me to my mother’s home.

I was 1 and we were one, my

mother, father and i but after awhile they left me behind.

I was 2 and i cried a lot.

I was 3 and still nurtured by my mother’s mother, my favorite in the world.

I was 4 and i wanted to be a doctor.

I was 5 and i remember singing to my parents in a tape recorder.

I was 6 and i moved to my father’s home where he stays for good.

I was 7 and i was disciplined.

I was 8 and i had friends and a first crush.

I was 9 and i left them all behind 

for a home to call our own; my father became my best friend.

I was 10 and betrayed by a friend.

I was 11 and i thought i talk less than a person should. 

I was 12 and fat. Didn’t know how bad but i had an adult friend, a mother-figure and i’m glad.

I was 13 and i met lasting friends, it lessens the pain when i think mama has not come home again.

I was 14 and i experienced young love in pain.

I was 15 and i don’t know what i want; the pressure for a course; and a resounding “no” for becoming a nurse.

I was 16 and alone again. Failed promises and unintentional course taking courses.

I was 17 and i had tasks to fill.

I was 18 and they have elected me a leader.

I was 19 and still going up the ladder.

I was 20 and opportunities come, i grabbed them all.

I was 21 and i was where i was supposed to be and pressured to pursue.

I was 22 and my father left me for good.

I was 23, the blackest year, a fallout with mother.

I was 24, thought i could escape from it all. I did but then no.

I am 25, escaped but not free. Out of purpose and lagging behind.