LDR

12 Feb

Bakit ganito kasakit

Ang kapalit ng iyong pag- alis?

Maraming taon

Ngunit konting pagkakataon

Sabagay ganun din noong ako’y

Sampung taon

Maraming nakapaligid

Pero nabibilang ang bigkas ng bibig

Nagpalipat-lipat ng lugar

Hanggang wala ng makilala maliban sa isa o dalawa.

Hindi ako nahilig makichika

O mangumusta sa iba

Yan na ako, simula pa

Wala pa noon ang sakit

Noon, isa lamang akong paslit

Isang dakilang manonood

Ng mga tao sa aking paligid

Bakit ganito kasakit

Ang kapalit ng iyong pag- alis?

Wag mo akong tanungin

Bakit wala akong oras sa iyong daing

Wag mo akong sisihin

Kung hindi ako malambing

Ang TV ang aking gabay

Lumaki akong wala namang nanlalambing

Pinalaki akong matatakutin

Ang sabi nga ng iba’y manang na din

Kaya patawad kong hindi ako

Ang ideal mong maging

Pero kung laging mali ko ang ipaparating

At ang daing di iindahin

Saan na tayo papadparin?

Kung parehas tayong ang hiling

Ang isa sa atin ay dinggin

At wala sa atin handang makinig

O Bakit ganito kasakit,

Ang kapalit ng iyong pag- alis?

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N.O.W ends here

5 Feb

It all boils down to today.

There is no “future” as it is only a figment of the mind. There’s only “then” and “now”.

Don’t stress yourself over tomorrow. But if you ever do, as humans are prone to, take a break from the world and ask yourself, 

“Am i happy?” 

“Am i satisfied?”

Don’t think. FEEL. Right this moment. We are our emotions. We are reigned by it.  

Yes, i admit, i won’t be always going to think like this. If only we could not worry all the time as if our time here on Earth is only borrowed. Oh wait, it is.
But this is a moment where i could be centered on the “present”– of the “gift” of life and evaluate then and now. So i would. Because i can. 

So, i will tell you again.

There is no “tomorrow” until it happens. Why worry now?

The time you first started to read this is different from the state you’re in when you’re here now. At the end. Of N.O.W.

Mahal Mo Ako (Di Ba?)

30 Sep

Mahal mo ako, iyan ang sabi mo.

Mahal mo ako kahit noong hindi pa tayo.

Nakakalungkot lang

Mahal mo nga ako pero wala kang tiwala sa “tayo”.

MAHAL. MO.  AKO. Naririnig mo ba yang sarili mo? 

Uulit-ulitin ko, hanggang maging malinaw sayo:

Ang sabi mo, mahal mo ako.

Pero kinukumpara mo ako sa nakaraan mo.

Binuksan mo nga ang pintuan dyan sa puso,

Pero tinutulak mo naman ako palayo.

Pakinggan mo nga yang sarili mo, isa pa, mahal mo ako.

Pero wala kang balak pagkatiwalaan ako

Wala kang balak kilalanin ako.

Una, magkaiba kami ng mukha

Pangalawa, hindi kami parehas ng ina

Pero kahit na, walang dalawang taong magkapareha

Ikaw, ang sabi mo mahal mo ako

Buti sana kung hindi pa tayo,

Hahayaan kitang pagdudahan ako

Pero sinuyo mo ako at naging tayo

At nang magsimula tayo, doon ka nagbago

“Baka lokohin mo din ako.”, iyan ang sinabi mo

Kaya, pangatlo, baka hindi malinaw, hindi ako ang ex mo

Utang na loob, buksan mo yang mga mata mo

Mahalin mo ang nasa harapan mo

Ilayo mo ako sa babaeng nanloko sayo

Magsisimula pa lang tayo 

Pero pinapatay mo na ang relasyong ito

Wag mong ikumpara ang “tayo” sa multo ng kahapon 

Wag mong hayaan na takot ang manalo

Bigyan mo ako ng pagkakataon na lumaban

Bigyan mo ako ng panahon na ika’y alagaan

Gusto kitang mahalin dahil ikaw,

Nakikita kita: ang mga mata mong nagsusumamong ibigin

Kaya paraanin mo ako, mahal ko

Dahil mahal kita

Bigyan mo ako ng pagkakataon na mahalin ka

Wag mo akong itulak palayo

Dahil nagsisimula pa lang tayo

Mahal mo ako, di ba?

Mahal din kita.

T-A-N-G-A

3 Aug

Todo akong magmahal

iAalay buo kong dangal

iiNdahin lahat ng bawal

daiG ko pa nga ang iyong mahal

na sA dulo ika’y tinalikuran
Tandaan mo ito

mAmahalin kita hanggang dulo

maNalig ka sa aking puso

hanGgang sa itakwil mo

tangA na kung tanga 
MagpapakaTANGA para lang  sayo

Ang G*go at ang T*nga

28 Jul

Ang sagot ng tanga sa gagoOo malibog ka pero yan lang ba ang panlaban mo?

Puro tawag ng laman

Kaluluwa mo nama’y kawalan 

Walang laman, walang maipaglaban
Sa relasyong pilit binubuo

Sa pag-ibig na nanggaling sayo

Pagmamahal na ngayo’y sinayang mo
Sayang, ikaw na sana ang pinakamasaya 

Ang hari ng buhay ko

Sayang, ikaw sana’y naaalagaan

Gaya ng binigay ng nanay mo

Sayo na sana ako

Pero sinayang mo

Wala ka na sanang sakit sa ulo

Kasi hihilutin ko

Sayang, may libre ka na sanang 

Yaya nanay, reyna

Winalanag bahala mo
Pero buti na lang, 

Inalis kita sa buhay ko

Maswerte pa rin ako

Nawala ka sa buhay ko

Wala ng gago, 

Hindi na tanga, gaya mo

Red and Bleak

4 Jun

It happened so #fast

It was a #blur

All was #bleak

But you, the lone #color
You see, I ignored the signs

And man, you made me blind

You took away my heart

I was empty and free
Now i see, 

you stole the fire in me

Alas! I was that color

(You traitor!)

🤦🏻‍♀️

But I won’t give chase

Please, go on keep my color

I hope you blend with it
My fire, although defused

Will be lit, don’t be confused

‘Cause my heart, it multiplies
There will come a time

When this bleak world would be lit

The Cycle

20 Apr

I have reached this place beforeI have felt these feelings before

I have written about it before

It’s all happening again. 

Indeed, this place is a circle.
Endlessly searching, struggling, pushing, loosing, trying… it never ends. 

But i hope to stop somewhere in the circumference,

Just to pause somewhere in this endless cycle

To rest in a place where my feelings lock-in

Where i will feel the speed, the rust, the adrenaline of my journey feels comfortable to just BE

To continue in a momentum where i feel like flying when i was running 

When i no longer have to struggle to breathe but to just BE
But i may not even make sense

Just trying to BE

parang ang sarap magmahal

28 Jan

parang ang sarap nang may minamahal

ang abangan ang kanyang pagdating

ang masabik sa kanyang mga halik

ang damhin ang kanyang paglambing

 

parang ang sarap nang may nagmamahal

may kasukob sa ulan

may kayakap hindi lang ang unan

may kasama sa patutunguhan

 

parang ang sarap magmahal

ang kiligin kahit hindi pansin

ang sabikin kahit sa iba nakatingin

ang magmahal kahit hindi ikaw ang ibigin

 

 

I’ll Say It, So Stop

24 Jan

“I love you”, such beautiful words
I once believe them to be gems

Spoken rarely but truthfully

Now they have become like a “hello”
A greeting, a passing thought,

A careless slip of the tongue

A habit to pacify all things petty
“I love you”, it has become words

Same as “I’m fine” to “how are you’s”

Where you utter them to indulge curious minds

But totally lie about the inside
I’ll say it. “I’m fine”, so  don’t ask anymore

I’ll say it.  “I love you”, so you won’t ask for more.

People are People

10 Jan

 

WHEN you stepped out of this world
You are sheltered at home
and as you grow, you’ll have your school, your church
They look at you and hope for the future

WHEN you debut into this world
You are embraced by those in the room
You dance till dawn, you’ll feel unbreakable
and the next day, you’ll still have your peers, your dreams

WHEN you’re done with school
You are praised by all
and the next day, you’ll still have it all,
but maybe even eyes waiting for your downfall

WHEN you’re looking for a workplace
You are pressured by it all,
you might set aside your passion,
and just catch the next available place, but not for long
(So you say)

WHEN you submit yourself in that rat race
you’ll get tired, but still save face
you remember those prying eyes
and you get on, you smile, you wave
(So you try)

WHEN you’re getting restless
you remember those praises that pushed you to just drive
“Just be Someone, it doesn’t matter what but be Someone”
and you believe, you just might become someone
(Or not)

WHEN you feel you’re too old for your age
you feel you have become part of this world
and you think kids are too spoiled, they dream
you’ll want to go back, be that kid, be Anyone but Someone
(So you think)

WHEN you feel lost in the game
but winning in the eyes of peers
you realize you have been deceived
the praises have misled you from your dreams

WHEN you get out of that game
the eyes would stop looking but glare
they’ll loose hope for your future
and you won’t care

WHEN that time comes
maybe you’ll doubt yourself
the confidence might be swayed for leaving was not that easy,
Anyway, YOU’RE JUST GETTING STARTED.

WHEN you feel down
remember you’re at the bottom of going up
you’ll get there somehow, because you care
you have owned the game, you’ll dare

SO, push through, forget the wounds you’ll get
Forget the flawlessness, forger being perfect
Disappoint people who followed what others paved them to go
Enlighten people who believed you’re getting lost to reach your rightful place
Some place you’ll make to become Somebody you’re proud of.